You can tell me to leave, I’ll
Stay, and you can tell me to
Kiss you, I’ll only look in
Sadness, because when have
We ever been this close?
(When will we ever be this again?)
I long for the day you know I’ve
Been standing under rain and
Carrying the hale from yesterday’s
Apocalypse; I long for the day when
Instead of ‘leave’ you tell me ‘stay’
And it’ll be a while, I know, I’ve
Been counting and it’s been twelve
Centuries and a half, but does
That really matter when you’re the
Water to my drought? The warmth to
My winter? And the sunrise after
That long, terrible vesper?
You said this once, that I,
I can’t have what I already had
Once before, and it was true:
No one else had your eyes–
That contained the sky and then a little
Bit of the finest top soil;
No one else had lips–
That kissed with so much emotion I
Had to pacify it with my fingertips;
No one else had your mind–
That thought a hundred different thoughts,
Moved in different angles, but still
Remembered where she stood;
And no one else had your
Soul that had me lost because it
Was so vast and untouchable.
I answered you then with something like,
“What are you talking about?” not knowing
You were about to walk away.
And you smiled,
“You’ll know soon,” that was your goodbye,
You turned around and stood in front of me for
Walking away, your silhouette
Was painful to look at because
It faded and I’ve never felt that kind of pain that
Grew stronger even after it was gone.
“Wait, where are you going? What’s wrong? Why–”
He held her by the hand,
“No, you need to stay here.”
She forced him away.
“What do you mean? Why are you doing this?”
And she walked away.
He never knew what her answer was.
Because you will only feel pain with me.
I can’t be with you for long, you need to see me leave
Now, when I,
I can still walk away from you
With my own two feet. When I still have the courage
To not look at your tears because my hands will
Just lift up and brush them away even though I know
I can’t anymore; When I,
I am still strong enough to tell you not to
Look for me anymore, guised in my words
(I hope you don’t see through me for once)
Is this enough reason?
If it’s not, come looking for me,
But know I’ll probably be lying on a bed,
Half-dead, half-praying to be dead,
And you’ll probably only be able to
Stay when I tell you leave, and will only
Look in sadness when I invite you to
We’ll never be this close again.